I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
