She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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