everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Randomize
