You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
they need to just BURY HIM!
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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