She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
