U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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