Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize
