Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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