That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
