Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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