I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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