Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
no you cant smoke seaweed
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
