Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize
