Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
