He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
