I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
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