i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize