just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
