Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
