he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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