Your mouth is God's brothel.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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