He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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