just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Randomize
