i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
