I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize