Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
