I think scott just propositioned me for sex
i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
