I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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