You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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