I feel like I'm in dance class right now
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Randomize