That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
The cops high fived after they tackled you
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
