My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
