He is such a slut. More and more my type.
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
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