dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
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