This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Randomize
