If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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