I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
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