So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
