I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize