I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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