Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
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