you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
