but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
