can u get pink eye on your cock?
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
