Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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