So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
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