The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
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