i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
