The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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