I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
