drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
