His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
