When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
