the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
