does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
