I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
