Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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