Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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