dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
