shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
