i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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