I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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