My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
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