I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
