i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
