you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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