Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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