Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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