How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
