its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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