I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
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