i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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