I hope mine doesn't look like that
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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