Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Randomize
